Breeding the new media Kwisatz Haderach
For those of you who recall Rudy’s Twitters a few weeks ago(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7), I have a fascination with the Bene Gesserit breeding program from the Dune novels and have been thinking about what genetic lines we require to create the ultimate intelligent, talented and good looking superbeing.
Creating a superbeing will take generations, but the genetic foundations of such a being can begin immediately. I believe that if we breed the following people (the hottest and smartest people I know), and breed their children, we will someday create the ultimate geek, the new media Kwisatz Haderach:
| Males | Females |
| Matthew Campagna, the kubrick | Veronica Belmont, the native |
| Ze Frank, the funny | Violet Blue, the madame |
| Rudy Jahchan, the Arab | Jade Li Calacanis, the sweetness |
| Kris Krug, the adorable | Amanda Congdon, the girl next door |
| Mario Librandi, the stallion | Rachel Garcia, the Latina |
| Chuck Olsen, the personality | Zadi Diaz, the cocoa |
| Rick Rey, the all American | Micki Krimmel, the oontz oontz |
| Kevin Rose, teh cuteness | Casey McKinnon, the blue-blood |
| Tim Shey, the shyness | Elspeth Rowntree, the dream girl |
| Scott Simpson, the apple | Annie Tsai, the cupcake |
| Steve Woolf, the Jew | Anastasia Tubanos, the goddess |
If you see your name above, we expect you to turn over a specimen to the cause. Alternatively, you could always just schedule an orgy. The people on this list are non-transferable.
More to follow…
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Only from the mind of Casey McKinnon would such an elaborate and diabolical plan exist… and for the record, the alternative suggestion — not so bad.
I go now.
Wow. Just, wow. The dirty thoughts in my head at the moment.
w00t! I made it!
i’m starting the orgy right now…
WHERE R U GUYZ?!?!?!
ha ha! I LOVE THIS! “The blogs must flow…the blogs are vital for space travel…”
I think if you mixed those genes together, you would get this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82-FJyniP7A
Oh yeah, I forgot to ask. When’s the orgy??
Well reading this certainly hasn’t cured my insomnia. At least I know when I do fall asleep, I’ll dream well. See you soon, boys (and girls)!
[...] Casey McKinnon – Breeding the new media Kwisatz Haderach Casey is hard at work building the new geek superbeing. I’m honored to be on the breeding list. (tags: geekery sex) [...]
[...] Yipes — it looks like I’ve been selected for a scary New Media breeding program: Casey McKinnon’s media superbeing franken-child-making Bene Gesserit breeding program. Help! (thanks Praemedia!) [...]
[...] If We Breed Them – Volume 1: Amanda Congdon & Ze Frank :: 06.01.2007 « Prev:Breeding the new media Kwisatz Haderach [...]
This…is…hilarious…. Never thought I’d see the phrase “new media Kwisatz Haderach” – ever. My eyes are changing color just thinking about the spice.
[...] Above: The genetic possibilities of a Veronica Belmont/Chuck Olsen child. Calculated for the New Media Kwisatz Haderach breeding program. [...]
[...] Above: The genetic possibilities of a Casey McKinnon/Kevin Rose child. Calculated for the New Media Kwisatz Haderach breeding program. [...]
If you guys need someone to document the orgy, allow me to offer my services.
Good idea, I love it!!
Thank God my name isn’t up there!!!
“the native”
What does that mean?!
[...] Above: The genetic possibilities of a Zadi Diaz/Rick Rey child. Calculated for the New Media Kwisatz Haderach breeding program. [...]
@veronica: You’re our native quotient… I need diversity (and, yes, I know it’s reaching, but you were part aboriginal
)
OK, this idea is so great. I may be developing a crush on you Casey.
The Kwisatz Haderach? Fantastic. But you left out Mike Hudack, the hugger and Bre Pettis, the mad scientist.
Oh, right… I’m like 1/300th Cherokee Indian! No, seriously!
@veronica: Yup, and you’re the best damn 1/300th Cherokee Indian I know! In fact, you’re the best damn native I know… and the only. Regardless of this, you are smart, beautiful and talented and would have made the list even if you weren’t “the native”.
Wow, Casey… this is just about twisted enough for all four of us to have thought of it together! You know, between you and Rudy, and Anastasia and myself we’re only two generations away from being able to make a pretty serious Kwisatz Haderach! Imagine the power…
“Awww… maybe they could get married” ~ Boomer & Callie, BSGalactiast
Hahaha Casey, I love you. This is a fracking fantastic idea and I would be happy to donate a specimen for the cause AS WELL as partake in this orgy, just tell me where and when
Such a team player, I am! I would LOVE to hear the story behind what posessed you to make this list though ’cause it’s just too damn funny.